6:58 p.m., 2003-09-30
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So, am I still waiting?
Before I forget, I must add Hurstin to the list. Heheh :). And oh yes, "Slazy" has been changed to "Blacky". Just to clear that up.
I have so many things that I want to say, but I can't. I find that I am still holding back. Why? Maybe it is because nothing that I want to happen is happening. I just wish that people could read my mind, don't go by what I say! Well, go by some of the stuff I say but also consider by actions, reactions and expressions. I also wish that people ( a few, particulars) would just tell me what they think, feel. Is that really so hard? I need to know so that I will stop wondering, and maybe even I can start being truthful.
I was in a reverie. Peaceful, content, tranquil...happy. But then I was back, to the current. I'm trying to find my way there again, to the wonder. The waiting is killing me.
I have come up with countless theories of why. Why it has not worked. Why I have had no response. And you know what? None of them make sense. I can make dozens of excuses, but maybe it's as simple as this: it's not there. It never was, it never will be.
But then, where is everything coming from? I know that I did not make these things all up by myself. That would be ridiculous(forgive my spelling if it is incorrect), preposterous.
Give me something to hold on to.
� � pr�c�dent ou apr�s
