6:47 p.m., 2003-09-12
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His eyes were like gates, ones that were locked. Unwilling to open. They were cloudy with thought, as if he had been thinking about the meaning of life. If only had been that easy.
The truth is never easy to contain, yet harder to spill. Once it is spilt you can never clean it up. It's like red wine on an ivory carpet.
He walked effortlessly. Sitting down quietly, he lifted his head up and glanced at me. I tried to avoid eye contact, but is was pointless. I could feel him trying to read me, trying to decipher what had happened. I opened my mouth to speak, to salvage the moment. Nothing came out.
He was the unlucky one who spoke first.
"Are you sure...is what you're telling me true?"
I nodded. I had known about it for quite some time, and I was never able to accept it one hundred percent.
"How long have you known? I...I..just can't believe it."
Neither could I. Something like this was not easy to understand, let alone live with. It was a good thing,yes, but overwhelming.
Many of us try to understand things to the best of our abilities. We are constantly seeking the truth, yet we do not think of the consequences. What if we find this truth? What can we do with it?
"I've known for a while."
I sat in a daze.
"What do we do now"?
Such a hard question. There was no one to turn too, no one to lean on. Except us. We were going to have to trust eachother, as hard as that may be. But then again, that is the whole idea.
I have tried many times to deny my destiny. I used to believe that you could fight for your future, that there was no such thing as fate.
I wish now that I had never searched for answers. That I had been a good little girl. But if I had, I would have never found him. Glorious him. He had saved me more than once. It must be true. But how were we going to deal with this?
I had caused this.
His eyes were like gates, thrashing wildily with emotion like wind. Already opened, unable to close. They were vulnerable with a childlike quality, as if he were lost. If only it were that easy.
� � pr�c�dent ou apr�s
