12:19 p.m., 2003-12-30
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So what do I go and do? I read the note. He told me to wait until he had left, but no- I pretended to go to the bathroom and read it. I wish I knew what it had said.
Yeah, so you don't understand what I'm talking about, but it's okay.
I can't wait until next Monday- when I start school. Why would I want to start school? Let's just say that I have some pressing matters to attend to. Like reuniting four people who should ALREADY be together, and then I have to get those other 3 people who already know, and then wait for the next group. Oh, I so hope that those bastards know about this. It's gonna be a long ride, and I don't wanna explain it all. Especially to people who aren't involved.
It frustrates me to think of all the shit I'm going to have to do. And all the things that we all have to do. I just wish that I could see the future, and to be able to see the whole effect of what we are doing. That would be terrifantic ( terrific + fantastic ). But oh no, they just can't do that.
There's something on my mind. I don't want to say anything about it, but I will. Here it is:
Don't I get to experience some nice things, too?
I have tried, trust me. It may sound selfish, but if you think about it, it's not. If i'm not happy, I can't work as well as I could. And If I can't work as well as I potentially could, then screw it. What am I asking for? Oh, maybe some normal days, a few more regular relationships and all those things that go along with it. My lil' friend, Edward (Fez) can relate. I believe. Damn it, I know i'm whining but I am entitled to it. Everyone is.
Happy Thoughts....
School had better be damn good. These people have to stay together. If I have to tutor the satanist, so be it. I'm not giving up on this. The consequences are much to dire. Some distractions, as I mentioned earlier, would be greatly appreciated. Maybe a tall one, with dark hair. I'll put a word in.
How will I know...If he really loves me...
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Why do I feel so great when I dream, among other feelings, and so bland while I'm here?
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