8:28 p.m., 2003-08-09
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Being left out sucks. No, I'm not talking about you guys. Conceited, are we? I'm talking about it in a different sense. It's like not being where I need to be. I feel like something is being blocked- but I'm not quite sure to unblock it.
Earlier I had a calm, serene feeling. Where is it now? It seems that whenever I talk to people( maybe just particular ones) I get exasperated. Frustrated. Why?
I also, briefly, felt an overwhelming urge to tell someone what I've been thinking about. Maybe they could help me figure it out? I thought about someone specifically, but then declined.
Why do I feel that no one will understand? Sure, the idea is far-fetched. But shouldn't I be able to confide in someone about it, no matter the extremity(of weirdness)? I guess not. While I may always have close friends, I may not ever be able to tell them something of true value. The one thing/idea that really matters to me, I can never share. It's not a regular 'secret', but still...
It's also something that is been occupying my mind lately, and for lengthy periods of time. It seems as if my inquiries shall never be answered. I'm sure they will come in time.
Unless....there are no answers.
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